I'm so vain
So, my friend Jay has added to my insecurity of aging. After we had been drinking he decided it would be fun to pull one of my new found gray hairs out of my head. He didn't get it but managed to pull out a clump of really nice brown hair. And, yes it hurt but only marginally. Oh and we were at a restaurant. Now I find myself sitting on my couch waiting to rinse out this hair dye. Here is where my story begins.

The box says not for predominantly gray hair. 3,4,5 doesn'tcount as a majority so I'm in the brown. Then it says people with tatoos are more likely to have a reaction to hair dye. I laugh this off and continue reading because that is just absurd. as far as I know I don't have one on my head. Read, read, read, I never really notice the name of my beauty products but after reading the colour (how sophisticated); French Roast. I really wish it smelled like coffee instead of ammonia. So this sparked a curiousity. What do my other beauty products say

Nail polish: VIXEN what it really means, maybe you'll be able to wear sandals now that no one can see your toe fungus
Lip Gloss: LUST what it really means, look at me my lips are really shiny and maybe I could.......insert any phrase you see fit.
Eye shadow: NAKED LUNCH what it really means, hey lets put on some really dark make-up and shoot some ron with William S. Burroughs
Glitter (please don't ask why I have this): Sultry Maven what it really means, I opted for this instead of nipple tassles

Now I can't stop laughing. Gasping for air because my tiny apartment isn't vented properly and I'm probably high from the noccuous fumes of ammonia. But, I'm ready for my William.